I've been away.. literally and figuratively. Spent time in Las Vegas, San Francisco and various points North of the Bay City, New York City, Washington DC, Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu and Xi'an. (Yes, China, baby!) Three weeks of teaching and touring. While traveling, I neglected my blog, I'm sorry to say.
Today I resolve to blog everyday, no matter where I am or whatever excuses I might muster. With a little imagination, a person can always find a reason to not do something.
Resolution Strategies That Work
For resolutions to work, people must have successes that reinforce their determination. Here are some pointers for succeeding with your resolution.
The Specific Behavior Approach
I've just given an example of a type of New Year's Resolution that has high probability of succeeding: "I will blog every day." Its a clear behavior that is possible to achieve. It is free of provisions or expectations or ideals or moral values or any other baggage. Its just one thing to do each day, just one thing. I didn't say how much I have to blog or even what I'll blog about. (Since Type II Diabetes is a daily presence in my life, it effects everything and everything effects it. Means everything I might blog about will relate somehow to T2D.)
Choose a particular behavior and be specific. If you want to decrease your carb intake, for example, you might resolve to drink water instead of drinking soft drinks with sugar in them. Pick a particular action and be as specific as you can be about your new behavior. To tell yourself that you will exercise more is a set up for failure. Your resolution is not specific enough. Your resolution has to have more details. How often is more? What kind of exercise? When and where? Do you need equipment? a trainer? an exercise buddy? What do you like to do? What if you hate exercise? Each of these questions is a finger pointing at a loophole in your resolution. If you have a loophole, you will use it. It's what people do.
Make the behavior change a small one. Keeping a resolution requires motivation. The motivation to keep a resolution doesn't come for your desire for the goal. If the desire for a goal motivated us enough, we wouldn't need resolutions in the first place. Keeping a resolution depends on the success a person has with doing what must be done. If you ask yourself to do something you can do, you will do it. When you do it, you will feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you will stick to your resolution. When you ask too much of yourself, the doing will be a struggle. The bad feelings that go with trying too hard will erode any good feelings you might have. Before long, the resolution is broken and you feel crappy about yourself. That's how people are. When you give yourself a small step to take, you are more likely to take it and keep on taking it.
Let's use the exercise example. You want to exercise more. A way to do that could be as simple as parking your car in the farthest spot you can and walking whenever you go to the mall, visit your doctor or shop for grocery. That's a small change in behavior that can be accomplished. You might decide to swim once a week; go to Jazzercise or Zumba once a week; take a tai chi class (In China, people go to their community park every day to do tai chi together.. young and old.) or a dance class. Set yourself up to do something small, that you can accomplish. You are more likely to stick with it.
The Global Change Approach
Another kind of resolution requires only one thing: a theme. You choose a theme, like friendships, productivity, or health. Make your theme your guiding vision throughout the year. You do things in life that fit with your theme and inhibit actions that contradict your theme.
Think of what you want to change about yourself in general. Do you want to live healthier? Do you want to be kinder? Do you want improve your appearance? Do you want to be more productive at work? Ask yourself, "What aspect of myself do I want to improve?" Your theme must depend on behaviors that you can control in yourself.
Notice what I am not suggesting.
I am not suggesting you give yourself a goal to work toward. Goals like loosing weight or getting a promotion or passing an exam cannot be tackled with a resolution. Goals need a plan of action. The plan of action is developed from an analysis of the goal's requirements and your resources. You must do certain things to achieve a goal. Goals have requirements with criteria like grades, job descriptions, or calorie counts that you cannot control. They are realities outside yourself that you must adapt to in order to achieve a goal. The behaviors to achieve goals are complex and many. Achieving a goal is a great thing, but it is a plan thing, not a resolution thing.
Use your theme to guide your decisions. Do what fits your theme. Refrain from anything contrary to your theme. Back to the exercise example. You want to exercise more and want to put exercise into your lifestyle. Unless you are of the jock persuasion, its unlikely unless you use a whip on yourself. It will work until you balk. When you can no longer force yourself to abide by the exercise regimen, you will return to the couch. Being physically active is the theme that might be more useful. An active version of your everyday activities will fit with your theme: Standing rather than sitting; Sitting rather than lying down; walking rather than riding; going out to a movie instead of watching television.
Addictions
A word of caution, beating an addiction cannot be done by resolution. Addictions require help from others to over come. A mere resolution is not enough to beat something as powerful as addiction. The type of addiction doesn't matter. An addiction to shopping or cigarettes or eating or alcohol or crazy lovers involves complex neural pathways and brain chemicals